I'm gonna say that on every post of mine, instead of dear diary, because I have readers now (YAYYYY !!! Thanks to PK ). I want to thank you all who have come by my blog, and especially who have leave me comments. That was a great courage for me to continue and to try more on writing blog.
Now is our journey update.
On Saturday, I wrote and email to my husband, explaining my need for spanking, for discipline and for being taken in hand. I also wrote about the rules that I will follow (obey, respect, safety, control my mood and words...etc), and what I hope he can do for me (most about the consistency). It wasn't the first time I sent him an email about this, but since we stopped practicing DD for quite a while, I hope I could make it clear, like a new start.
When he was reading the email, I felt so embarassing and could hardly look at him. Fortunately, he didn't read for long time. Then, he agreed with all the things I've written in that email. So, he will spank me for these offense:
- Not taking good care of our daughter, and myself
- Being mouthy, sassy, cranky
Other rules might be added in the future as he see fit. I will also have to note all my offense and email to him every week. We'll have a "maintenance" every weekend, which can be a nice spanking followed by making love, if I'm good over the week, and can be further punishment (severe spanking) if I'm naughty.
So, rules have been made, I just wait to see how we'll do that.
Actually, I've had my first maintenance spanking yesterday. It was both for maintenance and for punishment (as he's threaten when I was being too cranky and annoyed ). Since we live with my parents and my sister's family, we don't have privacy in our home. So we've decided to rent a motel room for several hours every week to do that.
We arrived at the motel at the afternoon. I was nervous, both because of the coming spanking and the fact that we were not at home. But luckily, the hotel's room was kinda like sound-proofed, and we also turned aloud the TV.
He made me take off my pants and panties, lied on a pillow, so my bottom was lifted a bit. We don't have many implements, just have one that looks a bit like a ruler, but a bit thicker and not flat. I both hate and like that implement, for the same reason : it easily makes my bottom swollen that i can feel the spanking for several hours or several days after.
He started spanking at a moderate speed, and moderate force, but it still hurt a lot. After several dozens of swats, he told me "warm up is over". There they came... the volley of strong swats that make me squirmed a lot, I could only said "OW, OW, OW... please..please", couldn't even answer when he scolded me.
The spankings lasted like half an hour with 2 short breaks. What an intense feeling ! During the breaks, he made me kneel besides the bed, showing my red bottom to him, and sometimes got some random swats from him. I was filled with mixed feelings : embarassing, pain, submissive, and even a little of happiness that he didn't go easy on me.
My bottom was swollen, swollen a lot after the spanking, and had the color of angry red almost purple. I even had to lie on my belly on a while because it hurt too much when i lied on my back or when I sat down.
But, I still haven't cried... Sometimes I felt I was close to cry, but couldn't. Maybe because he didn't scold me much, or the offense was a little far from the spanking... I don't know. But it was the nice start for us.
Today I went to work with my sore butt, which is still swollen, and still hurt each time i sat down. Everytime I sat down, or stand up and walking, my sore bottom reminds me of my husband, and I feel butterflies in my stomach again. I still don't know if he will keep the consistency and the strictness or not, but I don't want to try him... at least not anytime soon :-p (my husband always say that I only behave when my bottom are still sore ... let's see... :-p)