Friday, 27 January 2012

A spanking promised

Yesterday night, I still felt so cranky, so irritate. I got angry, annoyed and snap at everyone. When we got to bed, I felt so insecure, so uncomfortable, I wanted to cry so much.  I really don't want to be like that, because Marc doesn't like me like that, and most of the times he just annoyed and keep silent to me. I hate that, I hate when the cold built up around us. Every time it happens, I'm so sad that I make my husband annoyed, and scared to death that he might get bored and left me sometimes. That's my most terrible nightmare.
But yesterday, Marc hugged me in his arms, and ask if I was ok. I said i was feeling so uncomfortable and annoyed. I also said sorry to him about that. And I got this : "You don't need to say sorry. Just wait when we get home. The severe of the spanking will depend on how you behave." My heart jumped. Even though that was what I hoped to get, but when I got the threat, it still made knots in my stomach.
Despite what he has said, I still don't know if I can make 2 more days go smoothly. I'm so tired, emotionally. I'm trying to hold myself back and stay calm in every situation. But gees, this is HARD.

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