Although we have practicing DD for almost 3 years, but we still struggling on the first stage of it. Many things jumped in and we couldn't do it continuously. So, it seemed like we just started over again every several months. It's so frustrating and tiring.
Another reason that we couldn't improve in DD maybe our personality. My husband is not really a dominant person. Well, sometimes he does, but not all the time. He's like an easy-going person. He doesn't mind much things, especially things he feels not a big problem. A lot of my behavior I could consider as annoying and punishable for him are just normal things, or easy to let go. But that personality of him did help us much on avoiding argues.
Moreover, even when my husband is annoyed, or pissed, or angry, he doesn't usually express himself, just keeps all inside and keeps silent. That's the thing I hate the most about him. I want him to talk out what he is thinking, I want him to scold me when I do something wrong, I want him to punish me if I make him pissed. But.... *sigh* it seems not natural for him to do that. And it's so frustrating when you want to communicate but your husband just keep the cold.
And about me, although I really want to be submissive, my inner-soul (don't know which word to use) craving to be submissive, but originally, I'm more like the dominant type lol ... I'm used to tell people what and how to do, used to express all my thought, used to have things in my control. That seems so confusing. How can I both a dominant type and want to be submissive at the same time? It makes things really hard for me to try to be submissive. Actually, I only want to be submissive to my husband, follow his rules (if he would make them =.= ), be under his control, be taken in hand... So can I keep control to everything else, like at work, and also be submissive to only my husband ?
I've read many blogs about DD, and I think trying to be submissive to him, no fight, no argue, trying to give up control to him... might help my husband to be more dominant, more used to taking control. Is that right?
But easier said than done... still struggling so much...
So many of us have had the same problem you talk about. I think most of us would agree that you just keep trying, keep taking. We're all in this together.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
PK
Thank you for noticing about my blog on your post. My page view today is having a great boost :) Hope I can keep it from falling down too much.
DeleteSometimes they are slow to see their role. Don't give up. Just keep loving him and helping him understand his role. But gently ;-)
ReplyDeleteHello,
DeleteWelcome to my blog. How can I call you ? Thank you for commenting. I'll come by your blog as soon as I can. Have a nice day.
Nita
ReplyDeletefirst I think that you are very brave to post in a language not your own. :)
I agree with PK, the trick is to keep talking and to let him know how you feel.
Bye the way, I'm an old friend of PK.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Hello Paul,
DeleteThank you for passing by, I hope I can make this place more interesting that you might come back again.
Yes, it's really hard to post in a foreign language for me. Sometimes I can't know if I use the right word or correct grammar. And sometimes I really don't know the word to describe what I want to say. I'm trying to read more, so I can have more "spanko vocabulary" to write :)
Welcome. PK sent me over. I'm new to blogging myself. We are a recreational spanking couple so I can't really identify with the submissive part but I surely can relate to wanting and needing a spanking. Here's hoping for the best for you on your journey.
ReplyDeleteHi sunnygirl,
DeleteThank you for your visit. I'll stop by your place as soon as I have time. English is not my language, so many words I can't understand, like "recreational spanking". I hope when I read your blog I might figure out :)
Tell us more of your story Nita- I am happy to Lurk until I am given the blessing to blog myself! ; )
ReplyDeleteHello Kristin,
DeleteThank you for leaving comment, I'm gonna write a new post. I hope I can improve my "spanko vocabulary" and my writing through time, so my blog won't be too boring :)
You should try your own blog, too. Even when English is not my language, I can do that, why don't you :)
Love,
Nita
Dear Nita- your English is superb! I don't even have a second language! I don't think you should worry about learning all the "spanko vocabulary" either. I feel these marriages are about your desire to surrender your will to a man who would use his authority to love, cherish and protect you in a very "hands on" way, and much less about a kinky quirk. You tell your story from your heart and you will have a blog that people will follow, and also a journal of your innermost feelings to share sometime with your husband. Best of all to you in your family!
ReplyDeleteOh nice lady, I think we all struggle with being a leader and wanting to be submissive! I run our home, have an in home business... and I have a husband who has the same kind of laid back personality that your husband has. It can be very difficult. We have decided that I am the "house manager" but that if there is a decision that needs to be made, it's his to do. It wasn't easy for him at first... and he still struggles sometimes but it's getting easier for him.
ReplyDeleteAlso, just recently we have figured out how to "remind" him of my maintenance spanking by saying "it's time" and he knows that is what we are to do.
Dd and life are a process... which can be nice... but can also be a pain!
Again... welcome to blogland.... nice blog! ;o)
Nita, it will take time for him to grow into his role. Don't give up hope! Like others have said, talking about it is key :)
ReplyDelete